"Sometimes we need to Be. Sometimes we need to Be Better."

There are times in our lives when we need “to be”. In the book “Ikigai the Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life” by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles they refer to the idea of flow. Flow, which could also be referred to as the Zone or Chi is when everything comes together. It is when you have clear objectives and allow, without stressing or obsessing about the outcome.

There are other times when we need “to be better”. We need to be better in the ways in which we speak to others. We need to be better in how we speak to ourselves. We need to be less judgmental and more compassionate. Less defensive and more open and willing to listen. It is easy to step into a place and believe that the way we view things is the only way. In general people think they are right until they have new information. Are you willing to hear it? Being better is about recognizing that there are other perspectives. Including how one addresses one’s own struggles.

We humans have created a lot of ways in which we punish ourselves. When the intensity of our emotions gets so hard to recognize or cope, individuals often will turn to what therapists call maladaptive behaviors. Maladaptive behaviors or self-harm interfere with how one deals with difficult or traumatic situations. These behaviors help one cope, but not in a healthy way. When one engages in self-harming behaviors (which can be many things – we are a creative bunch) we need to be better. Not because there is something wrong with us, but because we look to avoid pain. Instead of engaging in maladaptive behaviors, we need to work on finding alternate ways to manage our pain. These might include working toward recovery and managing stress, finding healthy ways of coping, talking to professionals when necessary, and getting to a place emotionally where you are ok with being uncomfortable and not having all the answers. We need to Be Better. And sometimes the way to "be better" is just "to be".

Corey