"I’m just the living legacy to the leader of the band.” – Dan Fogelberg

“My life has been a poor attempt to imitate the man. I’m just the living legacy to the leader of the band.” – Dan Fogelberg

It has been about 4 months since my dad passed away and his birthday is this weekend. The first of things after someone has died can be hard. As a therapist, a large portion of my work has always been about helping individuals move though grief. My approach to grief is helping individuals remember who they are, what they love and value, working on cherishing the memories that brought them joyous feelings and love, and for some understanding and letting go of those memories that brought them fear and anger. The idea is for individuals to come to a sense of peace about the loss, and to remember to live, because otherwise some people just end up getting stuck.

The Dan Fogelberg song, The Leader of the Band, was a tribute he wrote to his father. It is about how in his career he was trying to be as good as his dad was as a musician. How he, over time, came to appreciate all the good qualities in himself that his father had instilled.

My dad loved listening to Dan Fogelberg when I was a kid. At that time, I didn’t understand what this song meant. I just knew my dad like it. He liked his other songs too; this is just the one that I have connected with since his passing. I have listened to a lot of Dan Fogelberg in the past months. I don’t think I fully comprehended what this song meant until my dad’s death, likely because I never gave it my attention. My father was one of the great ones. He was kind and generous and had a smile for everyone he met. He lived and loved large. These are big qualities to aspire to and it has made me reflect in what ways I can be more like him. And in that way, be a better person. So, here I am with my version as a living legacy with my attempt to imitate the man.